A bit frazzled about it all

Sascha Star-dog

R.I.P. Sascha Star-dog

You are missed…

 

 

The date arrives

my mind is full

what to take? what to let go?

pictures, pictures, pictures.

another time.

nervous body

nervous mind

left and gone,

 

 

 

 

anymore?

life in space, gold and dry

we meditate on it itself

 

arriving through,

coming through

thoughts

in a ruffled colored puddle

out in the air

until the end of sparkly shores and cracks in the wind

 

little things seem so real

like billys in the gruff

the songs and rhymes of story time go up in smoke.

save your tears for those old fears

until you can stand

Call and say,

you have conquered for once and for all

 

speak sweet

speak soft

speak small phrases

 

like a good little girl

 

calladita me veo más bonita

 

(Nice and quiet. I look so much more pretty, nice and quiet.) 

 

————

Stream of consciousness writing as I meditate on my upcoming journey.

 

There’s so much to express sometimes making it perhaps difficult to gather my thoughts. Or at least I am getting an appreciation for minimalism. I am reconnecting with my process and finding inspiration when black and yellow butterflies fly by and other such new-agey moments. That is why it’s so important to travel. Inspiration is the most important. It’s thrilling, it’s life changing there’s no problem.

While I tell myself such things, in the meantime I am going a little insane. Smoking like a mad woman, I am nervous about all these variables. It has been humid and quite uncomfortable. Some friends suggested that I have a going away party and somehow I agreed. Hesitant at first I thought, “Well, that sounds quite good but at the same time these things are exhausting.” I felt in between and I might even say a bit “aksdjfadf,” if you will. I am not the kind to throw a party, really I just like to relax.

So anyhow the party came and went and was great. It was easy and some people surprised me with their presence it felt amazing to feel so supported. There is nothing like having support. I am glad I have extra time with people but I do wish the journey would just come along already. I am spontaneous it makes me nervous to think about something for too long. I just want to get up and go one day.

Chile is a country with a very rich political history as well as culture of people who stood up for truth, artistically. I am hoping to talk to some old commies and see what went down during the dictatorship. I mean, being home to both Pablo Neruda and Gabriela Mistral there must be some tasty writer juice in the vibes of the country. It is referred to as el pais de los poetas (the country of poets.)

I have been continuing on here getting rid of and sorting through things to get all packed and ready. It feels good to stay light, though a bit trivial. What do I bring? What stays here? What goes there? Just trying to make it work and… Yawn! Time for a nappy.

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